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Grief has been looking over my shoulder for a long time now. At age 19 I suffered the loss of two people whom I loved dearly within seven months of each other. Lines from a diary I kept at the time describe how ‘I am full of emotions that I do not understand’; ‘my moods are very variable, one worse than the next’; ‘I sometimes wish I could die’; ‘I feel so lonely’; ‘I seem to be able to handle things for a while but after a certain amount of time I feel like exploding’. I felt as though I was being selfish having these strong emotions months after the bereavements. Writing gave me an outlet to express myself (as in the poem above) without having to burden others. I did not know it then but all those feelings were normal. Grief is a very individual experience and does not travel on any one particular course. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

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The reason I have decided to write this now and not last year or next year, is because I feel strong emotionally and mentally now – and I credit this to being sober. // Post natal depression followed along with trying 4 to 5 different types of antidepressants to see which “worked” best, I decided in the fog of being a new-antidepressant-taking-mom with racing hormones, that it might be an even better idea if I drink alcohol to self-medicate.

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If you’re an open-minded creative that thrives on ideas with a lust for things of beauty but have an insatiable thirst for perfection and innovation, but your mental state flutters and wobbles like a plastic bag caught in a tree, then there might be a hint of useful here for you.

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Dúnta gach Déardaoin i gcomhpháirtíocht le Gaza

Closed Every Thursday in Solidarity with Gaza


Tá BiPolarBearWear ag seasamh lesi an Stailc Dhomhanda ar son Gaza
Creidimíd i grá, síocháin, i ndinit, in comhionannas agus i luach shaol gach dunie.
Oscloófar ár siopa arís gack Aoine.
Grmma as do thuiscint, agaus as seasamh le muintir na Palaistín

BiPolarBearWear is standing with the Global Strike for Gaza
We believe in peace, dignity, equality and the value in every humans life
Our store will reopen every Friday
Thank you for udnerstanding and standing for the people of Palestine

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